Today I finished unpacking the last room of our new home. Our office/school room, in a few weeks we will begin our first year of homeschooling. I'm terrified honestly that I am going to mess this up. My little Tahly is so excited tho, she began dancing around the room today looking at all the supplies that magically came out of boxes that she had counted as lost in KY.
Today Earl was given a job offer. Which means we wont have to face the lines of unemployment, but the pay is a little less, which means becoming even more creative with the lacking budget already. When I first heard the job offer it stirred up a lot of anger, then I felt like weeping. But after some reflection, I have come to this conclusion. We have been trying to get a different job for Earl for several years now. He's gone on interviews, gone all the way to drug screening and they have all fallen through. So as I turned down our street tonight I audibly heard, "I made you stay with S______ P_______ P________ because I wanted you to move to MO, I'm taking you where I want you to be." So I'll shut up, I'll swallow my pride. This is a good thing, I am thankful for the provision for my family.
Earl also began counseling with the pastor at our new church. A completely different approach, a game plan, something. He came home excited about it, and felt comfortable with the pastor who was open with him. It felt different this time, he didn't feel judged and turned away. I am thankful for the new church and the people inside of it.
We begin new. I hope to find my smile again, so many tears lately, not all from the marriage issues, but still, too many tears. I want to be whole again and enjoy this new life we have embarked on.
