The 2 Week Wait

So unplanned we were not protected during the fertile forecast days in my cycle. And now I find myself in the 2 week wait. For those of you who don't know, its the 2 weeks after you ovulate and you sit not knowing for two weeks, sometimes more if a conception and implantation took place. Its much harder than it sounds. I find myself doubting and hoping that I wont hope that we get pregnant. I'm scared that we will, and I'm even more scared that we wont. I want a baby in our family so badly, we hadn't really planned on trying again this year, and haven't decided if we would even try next year. After losing so many precious angel babies its hard to keep trying, the fear and anxiety builds up to a point you can't recognize yourself. I dread Oct. 26th right now because I know for a little bit that day I will feel crushed and very hurt. It seems too good to be true that we would get pregnant, or get pregnant and be able to keep that baby.