Bed Rest Day 6

Here we are almost a week into bed rest. We made it through daddy being at work just fine yesterday. Did lots of art stuff and played with her baby dolls. Daddy came home to a happy little girl and an OK mommy and a HUGE mess in the living room. So we being the second day of daddy being at work... I really don't have plans, just come up as we go. Our daughter woke up and told daddy that mommy had to stay in bed because the doctor said and could only go potty and take showers all the time. Sweet girl.

Mentally I don't know what I would do without my daughter right now. When they went to church Sunday and left the house for 5 hours I was having such a rough time. Not having any routine or normal made me miserable and I found myself in tears much of that time. But yesterday she kept me going. I had to stay mentally productive if nothing else to be able to keep her going. It wasn't always easy but in the end she was a happy little girl and I wasn't bawling. I am going completely stir crazy and want to get up and do my chores and cook dinner for my family. I've always been good about keeping the house in order and having dinner ready by the time hubby walks in the door. Watching him come in tired to a mess and finish dinner that he began before work kills my soul. But he does it with a smile and very lovingly. We have 20 more days of bed rest until our schedule c-section. However I'm praying hard that this baby decides to come sooner, or that bed rest can become modified. Something, some  kind of break.

I have a feeling...

Monday night my husband came home telling me he had a feeling something big was going to happen. I have grown to loath when he says this because 99% of the time his feeling comes true. I am someone who wants to know how and when things will happen and all the ins and outs. "Feelings" are annoying, and vague and I can't stand them. So we went on with our week. Tuesday I got some cleaning done around the house and played with our daughter. Wednesday I got most of thanksgiving shopping done and a surprise lunch outing with our daughter. Then Thursday hit. Began like any other day, I got up and got my daughter and I dressed and walked out the door because today was her day at preschool and I had an OB apt. Drop her off and get to my apt early, end up sitting in the waiting room for 45 minutes and get called back to ultrasound room. Baby was healthy and VERY large for his age, but doing pretty good. Then they take me back to do blood pressure and urine and to see the doc. That is when things began going down hill. I have had a couple of bad readings of blood pressure my last apts and this time it was very high. I was rushed through my visit and sent directly to the hospital for a possible over night watch. The hospital was rough and long, I was kept over night and then I was discharged on bed rest. I have pregnancy induced hypertension and will have to remain on bed rest the remaining portion of the pregnancy.

At this point I have completed 4 days of bed rest and feel I'm going nuts. I have a constant head ache that is killing me. Hubby heads back to work tomorrow and the real fun begins because we have no one who is willing to help or anyone who has time to come and help with our daughter. It will be an adventure! And thanksgiving is this week. My prayer is he comes this week. Anytime this week, I just want him to come!

Tribute to Our Angels

Last night we lit a candle with many other people around the world. To shine a light on the pain that so often is silently endured by families. I had numerous friends who have never personally experienced this loss light candles for angels too. It was remarkable and touching to see so many do something that seems so insignificant and have it mean so much to so many.

In our area there are not any events for this, but several places release balloons with names of babies who have been taken too soon. A dear women from Still Birthday offered to include anyone who sent her a name on balloons in their event. So last night as I watched my candle flicker and shed a tear for our angels, she was sending a balloon up in our place. She has also listed the babies who's families were unable to come. http://www.stillbirthday.com/2012/10/16/we-still-have-work/

I am touched by the amount of support I saw last night. I am touched that so many care. I am touched that even tho these women had no physical attachment to my baby angels they still care about them.